Joined
·
22 Posts
A man goes to his Doctors as he thinks he may have swine flu.
After the usual tests the Doc tells him "Well, the good news is you haven't got swine flu but the bad news is you're the first known case in the UK of a new virus sweeping China known as Yellow 24".
The Doc continues - "Unfortunately it's not just a 24 hour bug, it actually gives you less than 24 hours to live, so go home and do as many of the things you always wanted to in the time you've got left and enjoy you're last day".
The man is devastated and goes home to tell the Wife.
Coming to terms with his fate he suggests they do something special that night as it will be their last chance. "I know" she says, "Why don't you come to the bingo with me - you've never done that before - and at least we'll be doing something together".
He agrees and a while later is settled down with dabber in hand as the game begins.
During the first half of the night he gets a few sweats but doesn't win but in the Snowball shouts out as he has 4 corners and wins �30.
The game continues and he gets a single line - another �50.
Going on he gets two lines and another �100.
The Caller presses on for the full house and the man shouts Bingo! Another �300! The Manager calls him up on stage and says that in all his years he's never known anyone to win 4 times on the one card and unbelievably that game was also 'The National' so he was delighted to tell him he had scooped the top prize of �180,000 too.
"You must be the luckiest man alive" says the Manager.
"Lucky! replied the man,"Lucky!! "I've got Yellow 24"
The Manager turned to the audience and says - "Well F**K me! He's only won the raffle as well.......
I HEARD recently that on average, David Cameron receives two turds in the post each week. What I want to know is, who's sending the other one?
After the usual tests the Doc tells him "Well, the good news is you haven't got swine flu but the bad news is you're the first known case in the UK of a new virus sweeping China known as Yellow 24".
The Doc continues - "Unfortunately it's not just a 24 hour bug, it actually gives you less than 24 hours to live, so go home and do as many of the things you always wanted to in the time you've got left and enjoy you're last day".
The man is devastated and goes home to tell the Wife.
Coming to terms with his fate he suggests they do something special that night as it will be their last chance. "I know" she says, "Why don't you come to the bingo with me - you've never done that before - and at least we'll be doing something together".
He agrees and a while later is settled down with dabber in hand as the game begins.
During the first half of the night he gets a few sweats but doesn't win but in the Snowball shouts out as he has 4 corners and wins �30.
The game continues and he gets a single line - another �50.
Going on he gets two lines and another �100.
The Caller presses on for the full house and the man shouts Bingo! Another �300! The Manager calls him up on stage and says that in all his years he's never known anyone to win 4 times on the one card and unbelievably that game was also 'The National' so he was delighted to tell him he had scooped the top prize of �180,000 too.
"You must be the luckiest man alive" says the Manager.
"Lucky! replied the man,"Lucky!! "I've got Yellow 24"
The Manager turned to the audience and says - "Well F**K me! He's only won the raffle as well.......
I HEARD recently that on average, David Cameron receives two turds in the post each week. What I want to know is, who's sending the other one?
